Toxic Women Video

[Video] Toxic Women – Three kinds of women that you NEED to avoid.

This video is a bit different than the stuff that I usually talk about, but I thought it was important to share it with people. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of guys get sucked into relationships with women who are straight up abusive, and “crazy” in a very sinister way. These guys wind up getting their self-esteem destroyed, their lives thrown off track, and often find themselves bitter and resentful towards women at the end of their ordeal.

And even if you may not have met one of these toxic women yet, chances are you WILL come across one of these people in the future. And let me tell you, it’s MUCH better if you already know a little bit about the conditions you’re dealing with.

In this video, you’ll find:

  • My personal story of how a toxic relationship led me to the “pickup community”
  • The three types of toxic woman that you need to watch out for.
  • How to recognize each type.
  • How to understand how they work.
  • How to get out (short answer: RUN).

When I teach bootcamps, I often talk briefly about these kinds of women, and I ask my students if they sound at all familiar. Usually at least 50% of the guys in the bootcamp have had some sort of awful, traumatic experience that is similar to mine. And the toughest thing is – people often think that the kind of abusive behavior that these women submit you to is somehow normal, that it’s just women being “emotional”, or that YOU must be the abusive one (after all, why would your girlfriend be so upset if you didn’t do SOMETHING to deserve it).

Anyway, if you’ve been involved with one of these women, doing a bit of research into Cluster B Personality Disorders would probably help you make sense of your experience. You need to realize that it’s not your fault, that there was probably nothing you could have done to make the relationship work out better, and that your ex was likely manipulating you in a very deliberate way.

But most importantly, you need to realize that you were dating an outlier. That most women – although they may exhibit a bit of insecurity, a bit of attention seeking behavior, or a bit of narcissism – are adults who respect the people around them. And if they don’t, you don’t want to date them.

Anyway, I recommend the book Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorderfor people who have dealt with someone who has BPD, as I have.

And of course, you need to go out and challenge yourself and make an effort to surround yourself with good, positive people. And that means learning to be outgoing and assertive, because toxic women (and toxic people in general) seek out people who are shy and unassertive.

So let me ask you – who out there has had a run in with one of these women, and how did it go?

Chris Shepherd[Video] Toxic Women – Three kinds of women that you NEED to avoid.
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  • Sam

    Awesome video dude!!!! I dated a girl on and off for several years who
    had a bit of all the three kinds in her. As soon as I used to define a boundary she
    started to act normal and when I became relaxed on the boundary, she
    used to take advantage of me.
    She wants to get back again and wants to be a friend with benefits but I think over time she is going to want to be alot more. What do you suggest I should do.

    Sam

    • http://www.tenmagnet.com/ Chris Shepherd

      Good Question – I didn’t go into it in this video, but I often talk about rating these kinds of women on a color scale.

      Red – These people don’t respect others, and can’t control their manipulative behavior. They’re basically evil – DO NOT DATE.

      Orange – These people constantly challenge boundaries, and probably won’t stop. They might be in therapy. You can deal with these people as long as you have a STRONG frame and are always on guard. They probably won’t change much, so if you’re looking for a “nice” girlfriend, don’t think that she’ll change for you. Relationships with these people are always tumultuous. And if you’re weak they’ll walk all over you.

      Yellow – These people have manipulative/needy habits, but have control over them. If you have a strong frame you can handle these women, and they can be fun. Sometimes they’re just immature (if they’re under 22, say), and they grow up into “green” people.

      Green – These are well balanced people who don’t have needy/manipulative habits. The ideal.

      Sounds like your girl is in the Orange zone. Lets face it, she’s probably going to always engage in the kind of behavior that she has been engaging in for a long time. Ask yourself if it’s worth it and whether you really want to put up with that stuff.

      Personally, I only date women who are green/yellow, and I would probably not get into a serious relationship unless I thought the girl was in the green zone. In relationships, personality is CRUCIAL.

  • Sam

    Great advise man and thanks a million for the in depth analysis….. I am pretty sure that I am not going to make the same mistake again…. :)

    Cheers

  • crash025

    You should also add the “manipulative types” these are the girls that will attempt to use you for your connections and will attempt to bad mouth you behind your back.

    • http://www.tenmagnet.com/ Chris Shepherd

      Yeah, Machiavellianism and being remorseless liars are two key traits of cluster B personality disorders.

  • http://www.infobulb.com/theartofseduction/ Max Ikbal

    If a woman does not accept or/and respect your values, don’t let her into your world, no matter HOW HOT looking she is. Will save you a lot of grief