“I need you to wing me”, those were the first words out of Dave’s mouth when I picked up the phone “I’m meeting with this girl tonight, and she’s bringing a friend, a cute Asian girl. Can you help me.”
Dave is a good friend of mine, who isn’t really into game too much. He and I had already had plans to meet up that night, but we were supposed to go out picking up. I knew the background; Dave had been talking earlier abouta gorgeous Italian girl he met earlier that week at a business event.
They had hit it off pretty well, but Dave was horny and over-eager, so when she asked him if he wanted to hang out with her and her friends on Saturday night, he jumped at the opportunity. Blinded by pussy, he was walking straight into a dating ambush.
A dating ambush involves going on a date where you have no reasonable hope of hooking up, or even building good chemistry.At their best, ambushes just waste your time and money. At their worst, an ambush can completely destroy your chemistry with a woman and leave her thinking you’re a tool. Game can help you a bit in these scenarios, but your best solution is not to fall into her trap in the first place.
I told him he was being an idiot and he should cancel. He told me it was too late – she was already on her way. He begged me and I relented. Loyalty outweighed my better sense, but I was already feeling contempt for his eagerness. I could only imagine how annoying it would be to be a woman, on the receiving end of that perky desperation. We met up and headed out to a cheesy bar on the other side of town…
How to Avoid a Dating Ambush
Dave got screwed over because he violated a few, important rules.
Rule #1 – Never agree to a date that involves a chaperone.
Never, ever, ever, allow yourself to be shoehorned into a date in which the woman gets to bring along one of her friends. This is the dating equivalent of inviting a Taliban into your Humvee without checking his rucksack.
Not only will her friend prevent you from getting laid, she will also destroy any chemistry you might have with your date by subtly sabotaging your game. Usually this is because she’s a frigid bitch, who was invited along because her friend feels sorry for her. Sometimes, though, she is actually an interesting person, in which case she will mess with your game by being interesting and preventing you and your girl from having any 1 on 1 time at all. Either way, you lose.
Rule #2 – Never change plans on your buddies to make time for a woman.
There are a couple reasons why you shouldn’t do this.
First – she doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice. If she knows you cancelled on your friends, it will just make you look more like a sex-starved loser who will sell out his buddies for the faintest hope of getting laid. And she’s still likely to flake or change plans on you, which will leave you alone at home waiting by the telephone.
Second – It puts you on a bad footing. When you cancel plans to meet up with a woman, you put yourself at a disadvantage because you care more about the date than she does. If she flakes, you’ll probably get pissed off because you canceled plans, if she shows up, you’ll still feel more pressure to have the date turn into something. Either way, you’re going to have a needy vibe that probably comes through. You want to go into a date not giving a shit and cancelling on your buddies before it even starts makes that a lot harder.
Third – Your buddies.They’re going to lose respect for you if you pick poon over them too often.
Fourth – The Universe. The universe punishes you for being weak and horny like this. You will have bad luck on your date, guaranteed.
The only exception to this rule is if you’re really so busy that it would be impossible to schedule anything without cancelling other plans.
Rule #3 – Never schedule a first date on a Friday or Saturday night.
What are you, a loser? You should NEVER, EVER, schedule a first date for a Friday or Saturday night. . You look like a loser who has nothing better to do, and most places are busier and noisier than they would be any other night of the week. Most importantly, you should be keeping your weekends free for picking up new women.
If you have already hooked up with a woman, this rule can be broken.
The story, continued.
You probably want to know what happened at the ambush. This is actually a pretty typical dating ambush situation.Actually, it was a bit better than average, because I managed to escape around midnight.
We arrived at the bar, and waited almost two hours for this girl to show up, so we got drunk and flirted with the bartenders. This is what happens when you break the rules.
When the girls showed up, her “cute Asian friend” had turned into a mean-faced blonde girl who had brought along some douchebag named Clint who wore his hat on backwards 1997-style and never said a word for the half-hour or so that I stayed in the bar. I introduced myself and went back to gaming the bartenders.
Thankfully though, this meant I was freed from my obligation. Thanks to Clint, Dave didn’t need a wingman after all. I called up a girl (I always have backup plans) wished Dave good luck, and took off.
It turns out Dave did alright. He didn’t get laid, but he made plans to meet up with this girl again later in the week. Not a disaster, but nothing he couldn’t have achieved with a nice 10 minute phone conversation either.
See also: my post on treating dates like options, not priorities.