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Cajun and I do a Pickup Video Podcast

Tenmagnet — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 20:29:09 +0000

Cajun and I sat down last week for a bit, and answered some questions from viewers at The Attraction Forums. Hope you like it!

Also, here are some of the videos we reference during the podcast.

Mic Jagger and David Bowie – Dancing in the Street

Do your best jagger

And here’s the original Spagett video, and the follow up, Spagett and the Quest for the Golden Treasure.

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Cajun and I do a Pickup Video Podcast

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TSB’s Top Pickup Artists of 2008

Tenmagnet — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:49:39 +0000

TSB Magazine has released their “Top Pickup Artists of 2008“. Cajun got the number three spot, Mr. M got number 8, and Soul and I got honorable mentions! All in all, it was a pretty good showing for Lovesystems.

I had the privilige of meeting the TSB guys when I was in LA in October, and although I didn’t actually get to spend time with them in the field, we got to shoot the breeze around the pool for a bit and had a good time.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank Mike and Bobby from TSB for giving me an honorable mention, and that if they want to get together and game sometime, I’d love to show them my stuff and take a spot near the top of their list for 2009

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

TSB’s Top Pickup Artists of 2008

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Direct vs. Indirect

Tenmagnet — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:58:00 +0000

Direct or indirect, that is the question.

Do you go right in, all ballsy and say “Hey, you’re cute, come here” when you start up a conversation, or do you slide in under the radar, and start a “normal” conversation before you hit on a girl.

Does it even matter?

The answer is, yes, it does matter, but one style is not necessarily better than another. In the Mystery Method, we focus on indirect, because we feel it works the best for our students. But I regularly use direct game in my everyday life, and I even recommend it to students if I think they’re capable of it.

Direct and indirect work better in different situations. When a girl makes eye contact with me (what we call an Approach Invitation), I go in direct. When I have to push my way through a crowd to get to a girl, direct. When I know that she’s taking off in five minutes, direct. When I’m drunk and can’t put together the thoughts to game properly, direct.

Direct works really well in all those situations (except the last one). The big one is when a girl gives me an Approach Invitation. I always go direct in that situation, because walking up to a girl who has been eye-fucking you and saying “hey, I need a female opinion on something” looks pretty lame.

Indirect works really well on big groups, groups with guys, and for guys who don’t have their bodylanguage and vocal tonality down. It’s also the best way to go when you’re in a venue where you want to NOT look like you’re hitting on girls, to preserve your social status. So parties, and your favorite bar are places where you want to use primarily indirect game.

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Direct vs. Indirect

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Easter Egg Theory Part II

Tenmagnet — Thu, 17 May 2007 00:50:00 +0000

In my last post, I promised that I’d give some specific examples of Easter Egg Theory in action. So here we go…

If you’ve read Magic Bullets, you probably know that one of the things you want to communicate to a woman is that you regularly date beautiful women, and that you’re basically in “her league” or higher, dating wise. So how do we communicate that we date beautiful women while being subtle? Let’s look at some examples.

So imagine you’re telling a story which has an ex gf in it… you want to communicate that she was particularly good looking.

Unsubtle: So I was with my ex-gf, who is really hot. Guys hit on her all the time, and….

Unsubtle: So I was with my ex-gf. She’s a model. Anyway, she was driving home…

Subtle: So I was with my ex-gf, and she was like the stereotypical southern-belle sorority girl. Think Reese Witherspoon in “Legally Blonde” or something… Anyway, she was driving home.

Subtle: So I was with my ex-gf, and she’s Brazilian, so whenever there is music on, she’s always dancing.

What’s the difference between the unsubtle and subtle versions? The main difference is that in the subtle versions, I’m giving a more complete character description, as opposed to just describing her looks. When I tell the girl to “Think Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde” it sounds like I’m describing her character, but I’m also saying that she’s Reese Witherspoon good looking.

Likewise, I often use ethnicity to make a girl sound hot. When you ask your average American WASP girl from the suburbs to imagine a Brazilian, Argentinian, Columbian, or French girl, they’re usually going to imagine someone really good looking. You can use those stereotypes to your advantage. Also, I’ve dated a lot of girls from those ethnicities, and they ARE good looking

Here’s another example.

Unsubtle: So I was talking to her, and she was totally hitting on me!
Subtle: So I was talking to her, and she was really interesting. She wound up inviting my friends and I to an afterhours party at her place.

Women are very perceptive, and if they’re attracted to you they’re scanning for this stuff. Girls know what it means when they invite a guy to an afterhours party – they want to hook up. So by simply mentioning this invitation, you’re communicating that she was hitting on you, without saying it explicitly.

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Easter Egg Theory Part II

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Easter Eggs

Tenmagnet — Mon, 14 May 2007 02:44:00 +0000

I actually wrote this post on Easter, but I just finished it now, so the title isn’t quite as topical as it ought to be. I wanted to talk about “easter egg” theory in storytelling, because I think it’s basically the key to telling really cool stories without coming across like bragging.

Basically, it works like this. When you’re talking to a woman you’ve just met, and there’s a flirty, romantic or sexual vibe between the two of you, she’s going to be reading into the stories you tell and scanning them for cues on who you really are, your lifestyle, and how cool you are. She’s going to be listening carefully and sizing you up, ever so subtly, based on what you’re saying.

In a way, she’s like a kid at an easter egg hunt. She’s listening to your story, but she’s also (subconsciously) scanning your story for hints as to your coolness (or lack therof). And most importantly, she’s scanning your story in the way that a regular guy, or a woman who wasn’t flirting with you, would not. And this is what trips guys up.

I do a storytelling program in my bootcamps, where I take student’s (real-life) stories and we polish them so that they’re interesting, not braggy, and yet say lots of good things about the speaker. But when I hear guys on the lounge and in the forums talk, their stories are usually WAY too braggy. They beat you over the head with a hammer that says “I’m cool” on it.

If you understand “Easter Egg Theory” you realize you can be WAYY more subtle, and women will still get it. Even if it’s so subtle that you wouldn’t get it yourself, it’s probably something that a woman who was flirting with you would pick up.

Continued in Easter Egg Theory Part II

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Easter Eggs

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Storytelling

Tenmagnet — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 22:37:00 +0000

One of my former students (puzzler), has asked me to analyze some of his stories, and give some feedback on them. I asked him if I could put it in my blog, and he kindly agreed. Hopefully some of these examples will be useful to all you guys there.

I have this friend that I am really tight with. He does one thing that bothers me. He loves to wear things that I like to wear. I mean he is a professional model, he would look good in anything and I always tell him this but its my pet peeve that he does not have his own style.

I like the general gist of this story. It’s my kind of style in that it is really subtle, but it communicates some good stuff about you, primarily that this friend obviously considers you a role model. The only thing though, is that you push it too far, and say he’s a professional model. Professional models get tons of free clothes, and wouldn’t dress like you. It’s enough to say that he’s a good looking, cool guy.

Also, you need to be well dressed to tell this story. If you’re dressed like a shmoe (and puzzler, I know you dress pretty well), she won’t believe your story, even if it’s true.

Do you like the smell of tobasco sauce? My ex-girlfriend would always cook dinner and put tobasco sauce on everything she ate…the smell would just make me sick. Like even a whif of that stuff made me lose my appetite.

I see what you’re trying to do here, but I don’t like this story. First of all, it makes your ex-gf sound weird, and by extension it makes you look like a guy who doesn’t have a lot of options with women. It looks like you’re trying to use this story as a neg or a disqualifier, but I don’t think it does a very good job.

Her: I like your cowboy boots.

Me: Thank you, the other day my ex-girlfriend’s car got stuck in the snow and I found out the hard way they don’t provide the best traction. You seem friendly. Buy me a drink before you hit on me.

Kind of pointless. Mentioning that you got your ex-gf’s car out of the snow isn’t something that is going to get most women turned on. Being a “protector of loved ones” is something that women find attractive, but a “helper of ex-loved ones”, not so much. That’s not to say that guys shouldn’t help their ex-girlfriends out, just don’t bother bragging about it to other women.

Her: What school do you go too?

Me: I go to Brown, yeah I know all my state capitals.

I would definitely want to bring up Brown early on in a conversation, especially if I was talking to a girl who didn’t go to Brown. You just want to drop it delicately, and a little bit of self-deprecating humor making fun of Brown (but not yourself) would be a good way to do it. But keep in mind, you don’t want to trash the school you’re going to, just make fun of it a bit.

Me and a friend were walking around Faneuil Hall looking for a place to eat. We couldn’t find the South Street Dinner and ended up eating at this 5 star hotel with a 24 hour bistro. It was like 3 in the morning and we were really tired. So we asked them how much it would be to rent a room. They mentioned that suites normally go for 6000 but they would give it to us for 300 dollars. It was a deal we couldn’t refuse. We were calling up all our friends and we partied well into the morning.

Nope, don’t like it. This story has no point except to illustrate how you threw some money around. It’s a boring story that makes you look good, and as such comes across as bragging. If you’re going to tell a story like this, it needs to FIRST be interesting, and SECOND say something cool about you. If it’s not interesting first, it’s useless. Now, you might be able to add some stuff that makes this story interesting, but as it stands, I wouldn’t use it.

Anyway dude, I hope that helps!

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Storytelling

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Be a Risk-Taker!

Tenmagnet — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 23:33:00 +0000

As you guys probably know, we talk a lot here about three “Attraction Switches”, which are the core traits that women find attractive in men. The three switches are 1 – Preselected by women 2- Leader of men and 3 – Protector of loved ones. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think we should consider adding a fourth attraction switch; successful risk taker.

Why successful risk taker? Think about it – what is the most unattractive adjective that a woman can pin on a man? It’s LOSER. Being a loser is the most unattractive thing that a guy can be. Dumb, player, weird, badly dressed, dorky – all these are bad enough, but loser if the king of the insults when coming from a woman.

In a game of chance, your chance of success depends simply on what game you’re playing, and your strategy. There are no world-champion blackjack players, because (aside from counting cards), there’s no strategy you can use to win. But in real life, there’s an extra factor – you. Some people, when they take a 1 in 10 risk, win every time. Some people, when they take a 50/50 risk, tend to fail a lot. The first group of people are winners, and the latter are losers. Which category of person you fall into says a lot about your character and ability to succeed in the world. You can also tell which kind of person someone is by the risks they take.

For example, there’s a common statistic out there that says 2/3 of all small businesses fail within the first two years. From that statistic, you might reasonably assume that starting a small business isn’t really a smart idea. You might read that statistic and think “I’m better off here in the office, working for the man”, but that’s loser thinking. That 2/3 statistic is only relevant if you’re just as smart, competent and hard-working as the average small business owner. If you’re brilliant, talented and you have a good small business idea, your chance of failure might very well be zero.

Likewise with sports. The chance of a highschool basketball player making the NBA is probably 1 in 1,000…. Unless your name is Michael Jordan, in which case it’s 100%. So when you say to youself “going for that goal is a big risk”, think to yourself – is it really a big risk? For you?

And this is why the willingness to take risks is attractive to women. People who are willing to take risks do so because they are *winners*, and people who are afraid to take risks do so because they are *losers*. By taking risks, you are demonstrating to a woman that you are a winner… (well, either that or really stupid, but once you show you’re not stupid, you look like a winner)

Let me give you guys some real-life examples of simple risk-taking and what it says about you.

- You won’t eat Indian food – You’re a wimp and will barf

- You think Mexico is too dangerous to ever visit – You’re a chump and people like to rob you.

- You would never play the stock market – You’re not smart enough to win.

- You’re cheap (even if you’re rich) – Deep down inside you fear losing your money.

- You perform jackass-like stunts – You’re confident enough in your physical and mental prowess to do things that would otherwise be considered stupid.

- You’re trying to be a rockstar – You’re confident enough in your musical abilities that you’re willing to risk it all.

- You drive too fast – You’re confident enough in your abilities that you’re willing to bank on it.

- You have a bad habit of being loud and abrasive in bad neighborhoods and seedy bars – you’re confident that if things went down, you could handle yourself.

- You have a healthy contempt for rules and punishments – You’re smart enough to not get busted, and tough enough to risk the consequences.

Even risks that might otherwise be considered “stupid” can often make you look cool. If I were to do a bunch of Jackass-style stunts, I would probably hurt myself pretty bad, and for me, they would be stupid. But if you’re tougher than the average guy, if you have the fortitude, then one of those stunts might be a perfectly acceptable risk. They only look dangerous to wimps.

So what do you do now that I’ve enlightened you with this information? First, you have to go out there and take risks, and live a risk-taking life. That might mean a few failures here or there, but if you keep at it, you’ll become a winner. Second, when you’re talking to women, you want to convey this information. Talk (in comfort) about how you did something that might seem foolish or rash, and how it worked out. Finally, just remember guys… it’s *successful* risk taker, not *stupid* risk taker. I don’t want you guys poking your eyes out and coming back to me J

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Be a Risk-Taker!

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Classic Post – Picking up Kirsten Dunst

Tenmagnet — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:53:00 +0000

Here’s a good story for you guys, it happened to me in New York this spring.

I was there visiting a buddy who I will refer to as K (don’t know if he posts here). We were walking through the NoLita neighborhood checking for sets, on the way to meet up with some of K’s friends. We has spent all afternoon doing day game, and were a little bit “sarged out”. I was looking forward to sitting down, having a beer and watching the hockey game (the Stanley Cup was on).

Walking down the street, I see a girl sitting outside a fancy-pants bar smoking a cigarette. K says to me, “do you think that was Kursten Dunst”, and I say… “nahh….. was it?”

No lie guys, Kirsten Dunst was having a cigarette outside this bar, and I wasn’t going to let that opportunity go by!

So, we turn around, and head into the bar in question. It’s totally packed, and I quickly ascertain that Kirsten is in a back corner, surrounded by an entourage of about 8 people. There is no lock in position, and it looks like a tough situation.

I talk to the waiter, and arrange for us to get the table closest to theirs, it will be at least 20 minutes.

I decide my best bet is to sarge her when she goes out for her next cigarette, there will be an interrupt 10 minutes in (as they finish their cigarettes and go inside), but that’s enough time to get locked into a set, to the point where they’re pursuing conversation with me.

I buy a cigarette off a guy nearby and get ready…

Kirsten walks out with 2 friends (guy and girl) to have a cigarette… I pause a minute or so, and join them.

10M: “Hey, (to Kirsten’s friend) can I get a light?”
Entourage: “No problem”…
10M: “Allright (engaging guy and girl, ignoring Kirsten), check this out. My buddy, Dave, just called me to say he can’t make it out tonight, because (jealous girlfreind opener)… are like, New York girls crazy or what?”
Entourage: Yada yada yada…

10M: “Ok, check out my crazy New Yorker story… this just happened to me today, and I’m visiting from out of town”
Kirsten: “Are you from Canada?? ABOOT ABOOT… I can tell!!!”
10M: “Listen, little one, don’t make me come down there!… So I’m at the corner of 1st and 60th, and this old, beat up car comes to the intersection. It’s spewing black, oily smoke, and there’s actually FLAME licking out from under the bumper… like an honest to goodness FLAME.”

“So I try and wave this guy down, and he doesn’t see me. So I walk in front of the car, yelling ‘DUDE!! YOUR CAR IS ON FIRE!! GET OUT’… and the guy’s window is open, and he can hear me. And you know what he does???”

(at this point, I make a face and give Kirsten Dunst and her entourage the finger)..”He flips me the bird and drives off in his burning fucking car!!!”

(Everyone laughs)

Kirsten: “New Yorkers are so mean” (kinos me)..

I’m thinking to myself… “Did Kirsten Dunst just kino me? Did she just run her hand down my arm??”

Yes she did… and it was legit.

I holds out my hands in front of me… Kirsten puts her hands in mine, palm down (IOI).

I look at her palms, raise my eyebrow and say “Hmm… interesting”, and push her palms away.

Kirsten: “What… what???”

I walk past Kirsten and lean against some fancy car parked in front of the club… the alarm doesn’t go off (thankfully… that would have sucked BAD). Kirsten follows.

Kirsten Dunst is now facing me, as I lean up against some fancy car, and her hands are in mine. I begin running a palmreading routine.

Kirsten is eating up my palmreading routine, but at this point her friends have finished their cigarettes, and are going inside. I’m losing Kirsten – she is being pulled away by her friends, and feels uncomfortable being outside, alone, with a guy she just met. I’m also at a good point in the palmreading routine, where I feel she is hooked on hearing the end of it… if an interrupt is to come, this is the best time for it.

10M: “Your friends are leaving… go join them… shoo”. And I push her away… she smiles at me and goes back into the bar.

As I get back into the bar, the waiters are just about ready to give us our seats… very good. We wait a few minutes, and start to take our seats.

As we sit down, Kirsten’s table gets up to leave. I’m like “crap!!!” and start thinking of what I can do to save this sarge. They go outside, and I pop out 30 seconds later (don’t want to look like I’m chasing them), and they’re already halfway down the street… and just like that, Kirsten Dunst is gone!

Oh well… it was an awesome experience. And the really cool thing that I noticed was that Kirsten Dunst is a really normal girl… like there wasn’t any difference between sarging her and any other girl you meet at a club. It was really cool to realize that even celebs like Kirsten Dunst are just normal girls, with normal interests, insecurities and regular lives. No doubt, next time I run into a celebrity, I’ll be ready!

For your amusement, I have attached an artists impression of what me sarging Kirsten Dunst might have looked like, if I had a camera with me at the time.

For more information about Tenmagnet, his products and upcoming bootcamps, visit www.LoveSystems.com

Classic Post – Picking up Kirsten Dunst

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