Talking about Inner Game on the Love Systems Podcast

So, in addition to my appearance on News Talk 1010 last week, I also sat down with Hootie to contribute to a new episode of the Love Systems Podcast.

In this episode, I go a bit deeper into some inner game concepts, and discuss poutine, confidence and how your beliefs affect your actions.

If you haven’t listened to the Love Systems podcast, it’s one of the top “new and noteworthy” podcasts in the self-help section, and we already have some really great episodes on fitness, opening, entrepreneurship and body language.

So head on over to Itunes and check out my interview (it’s #7)

Interview with a “Real Life Hitch” – My appearance on Newstalk 1010.

They billed me as a “Real Life Hitch” this week when I appeared on The Night Side with Barb DiGiulio, and it was an awesome experience. We spent 90 minutes talking about dating and answering people’s questions live on air. This was my first time on live talk radio, and I’d like to thank Barb and her staff for making me feel really comfortable and welcome.

Anyway, it got some reactions on twitter:

@HolisticGame commented on my Newstalk 1010 interview

Introverted Alpha's Comment on my Newstalk interviewAnyway, you can listen in on the audio below. And if you’re interested in checking out my bootcamp May 22nd in Toronto, check out the schedule at www.lovesystems.com (FYI, My instructor nickname is Tenmagnet).

Audio Chris Shepherd – A “Real Life Hitch” on Newstalk 1010.

If you enjoy this episode, consider subscribing to the The Night Side Podcast, or sign up for the NEW Love Systems Podcast for weekly interviews on dating topics addressing the issues that modern men face in dating and relationships.

Interviewed in the Toronto Star

So, the Toronto Star did a story on me this weekend, and for the most part, I’m pretty happy with the way it was covered. The writer, Robert Cribb, sat in on my bootcamp for a weekend and interviewed some of the guys attending.

“The belief in your head determines your actions,” he says philosophically, his fist slicing through the air to emphasize key words. “You have to be thinking that you’re worthy of her, that you have something to offer her. Otherwise, you’re giving off the needy vibe.”

The resulting nods around the table serve as an outward expression of self-reflection.

There’s some obligatory knee-jerk criticism of my teachings (and game overall), but in the end I think it’s a pretty balanced article. But don’t take my word for it: check it out yourself.

 

Also, for those who are interested, I have a bootcamp going on May 22-24 in Toronto – you can check out the whole Love Systems schedule here.

Reddit AMA (Now Closed)

Update Apr 21, 2015

Well, the Reddit AMA is now closed, but thanks to News.Com.Au for writing a story about us.

Update: 4:36 PM eST

Hey guys!

Just wanted to let everyone know that my Reddit AMA is now LIVE. You can visit the link here.

I have been answering questions since 1pm – about 40 people so far!  I’m going to take a break, but I will still check back this evening, so feel free to ask me anything!

 

MISSION: Change your game NOW with Qualification

Mission

Three of the most common questions I get from guys, online or in seminar are:

  • How do I stop running out of things to say?
  • How do I get women to open up about themselves instead of being boring?
  • How do I get women turned on, and chasing ME?

The answer to ALL these questions (and more) is Qualification. Qualification is one of the most POWERFUL tools that you can use in your game, but it’s also one of the ones that most guys ignore.

In this post, I’m going to show you how to fix ALL these problems, using a simple technique that I teach in my bootcamps. I want you guys to go out and use this technique in your next interaction with a girl you’re interested in, and report back in this thread.

What is Qualification:

Essentially, qualification is the art of getting women to IMPRESS YOU, and then making them feel good for it. It’s incredibly simple, but deceptively powerful. You see, most men spend all their time trying to impress women, and never even THINK to flip the script and start qualifying them instead.

When you qualify properly, you’re flipping the usual script of male-female interactions, and putting yourself in the drivers seat. Then, once you’re in the driver’s seat, you can use qualification to move a pickup, date, or relationship in the direction you want it to go.

At a surface level, qualification looks a lot like what most guys do on a date – asking questions, and giving compliments. But when you look a little deeper, you’ll realize that qualification is actually the exact opposite of what most guys do on a date.

Let me give you an example.

This is what most guys do:

  • Guy: So, what kind of music do you like?
  • Girl: I like all kinds of music, except country.
  • Guy: Oh, that’s cool, I don’t like country either. What’s your favorite band?
  • Girl: I dunno, coldplay?
  • Guy: Oh, they’re really good. Do you like MGMT?

BORING!

This is the same conversation, except the guy in the question is using the qualification techniques that we practice on a Love Systems Bootcamp (at least mine).

  • LS Student: Ok, so you seem like you have good taste… but what kind of music do you like?
  • Girl: I like all kinds of music, except country.
  • LS Student: C’mon, you gotta give me something to work with here. Everything but country includes a lot of crappy music. What’s on your ipod right now?
  • Girl: I really like the new Coldplay album.
  • LS Student: Nice! I actually saw them at Sasquatch a few years back. I wasn’t a huge fan of theirs at the time, but they really put on an awesome show and won me over. So you do have good taste ☺. Ok, what’s the most obscure band you know that I need to check out?

What’s the difference?

On the surface, these conversations look pretty similar, but the Love Systems student is doing a lot of subtle things differently that drastically change the sub communications of the interaction.

He’s starting off with the frame that he’s judging her. This is not a boring old, “getting to know you question”. He’s letting her know in the first sentence that he is judging her on her taste in music. That starts the process of flipping the script and getting her to impress him.

He’s pushing her to give a good answer. When she starts off with a typical, no-effort required answer of “I like everything but country”, the Love Systems student pushes her to give a better answer. You often need to give a little push to get women to break out of “autopilot” mode, and to actually TRY in the conversation. This is important for getting her to open up.

He’s rewarding her for her effort. If you’re going to push people to open up, you need to make them feel good when they do so, or else they’re just going to close up again. The Love Systems student responds with a targeted compliment when she answers his question thoughtfully. The regular guy just responds with another question, which is going to make their conversation feel like a game of “20 questions”.

Once he’s rewarded her, he ups the ante. After getting her to open up, and making her feel good for her answer, he ups the ante by asking a bigger, more interesting question on the same theme. Because he made her feel good about opening up earlier, the girl in this situation is way more likely to provide a thoughtful and interesting answer to the next question, and the Love Systems student is going to make her feel good about that answer too.

What the Love Systems student is creating is a virtuous cycle, where he asks good questions, and the girl gives good answers, and then he makes her feel good with a compliment, physical escalation or a story that relates to the topic at hand. When this starts happening, all of a sudden conversation becomes easier, you stop running out of things to say, women start opening up to you (a LOT) and you can start escalating to bigger, more interesting, more sexual, or more deep conversational topics naturally.

Eventually, you can take this technique into the seduction phase and use it to create massive attraction.

A simple example of how you might use Qualification to sexualize:

  • LS Student: So, do you consider yourself a passionate person?
  • Girl: I’m super passionate, about everything I do.
  • LS Student: That’s awesome (puts arm around her), I really like surrounding myself with people who love life and go after what they want. I like your style, give me a kiss (points to cheek).
  • Girl: (hesitates).
  • LS Student: Don’t be shy.
  • Girl: Gives a kiss on the cheek.
  • LS Student: Mmm. I liked that. You have a really feminine energy.

And on.

As you can see, what the student is doing in this case, is he is following a simple four step process to Qualification.

  1. ASK: You ask for something you want, whether it’s a good answer to a question, a kiss or anything.
  2. JUDGE: What you’re really judging her on is her EFFORT. If she’s putting effort into the interaction, by answering the question, or giving you a kiss or whatever, you go to the next step.
  3. REWARD: Always make people feel good for following your lead and giving you what you want, whether it’s a kiss or a good conversation. (This is true in ALL elements of life).
  4. ESCALATE: Once you’ve made them feel good for giving you what you want, see if you can get a bit more.

Anyway guys, this is POWERFUL stuff, and it’s REALLY simple and natural. Go out and use it tonight and report back!