My problem with Paul Janka

What can I say about Paul Janka?

I watched his Dr. Phil Interview  the other day, and I think I can summarize it like this:

Good looking Harvard grad manages to sleep with 138 women over 10 years by devoting his entire life to getting laid.

Now, I’m not suggesting that Paul Janka has no game – I’m sure he can get a number in a club as good as any other guy out there, and I don’t doubt that he’s slept with 138 or however many women. But the fact is, the kind of attitude that Paul Janka represents is, in my opinion, the bad side of the community. I really don’t think men in “the community” should be using him as a role model.

For example.

He mentions at one point that “on a good week, I go on 10-15 dates”. Where the hell does he find the time to go on 15 dates a week? That’s 780 dates a year! Even if you presume that he sleeps with 138 women a YEAR, that means he’s getting shut down 642 times! And he’s been doing this for how many years? No wonder he needs to be cheap

Clearly, Paul Janka has some serious problems with his game, and you can see it in the way that women react to him.

 

Now, I know that the Dr. Phil show deliberately creates drama and is happy to make people look bad if they can get raitings – heck, they tried to do something similar when Lovesystems was on the show – but you can tell that the women in the audience, and the women who interacted with Paul were NOT impressed by him. Even if it was a bit of a setup, the sentiment was genuine.

He set off their creep radar.

Deep down inside, you can tell from Paul’s writings and his attitude that he doesn’t really like or understand women.

 

He says you need to “avoid being manipulated by a woman’s agenda”… what agenda? If you’ve done things right, her agenda will be to hook up with you. Likewise he says you shouldn’t eat with women because they feel “bloated and uncomfortable” – that’s just bizarre.

Either Paul Janka is dating some pretty messed up women (I can believe this), or his understanding of women is warped by his own insecurities.

Now, I know people are going to say “he’s just saying you shouldn’t put a woman on a pedestal”. Well, there’s a difference between not putting a woman on a pedestal and being contemptuous and fearful of them. Paul’s emphasis on “the woman’s agenda” subcommunicates that he thinks women are out to get him, and that women aren’t capable of enjoying his company for it’s own sake.

Does Paul Janka maybe have some good ideas?

 

Sure. I agree with him that you shouldn’t spend too much money on women, and that you shouldn’t put them on a pedestal or let them push you around, but even a broken clock is right two times a day.

The problem is the overarching theme of Janka’s “method” is one which encourages being suspicious and defensive around women, and one which presumes that women are out to get you and manipulate you. And if you accept that frame, accept that mindset, you’re going to become a creep.

And you’re going to have to go on 15 dates a week, just to get laid.

See my other post, in which I am meaner to Paul Janka.

Also, check out Picking up for Beginners

Chris ShepherdMy problem with Paul Janka