I haven’t done much writing this past week, since I’ve been teaching classes in Australia, drinking some good Shiraz and dealing with jet-lag, but I have done some good reading that I thought I would share with you.
One article that caught my eye was Arden Leigh’s article on open relationships. As a Love Systems instructor, keeping healthy relationships while also flying around the world teaching bootcamps can be rather difficult. I’m actually going to be presenting about this (and other relationships) at the Lovesystems Superconference later this month. After six years of teaching while (usually) being in good relationships with awesome women, I think I can speak authoritatively on how to manage casual, open and monogamous relationships, while also preserving your integrity and independence as a man.
At the Superconference, I’m going to be talking for an hour or so, so it would be impossible to sum up everything that I’m going to teach, but some of the main things that I’m going to be talking about are totally in agreement with Arden’s article. Namely:
- Don’t try to make women happy. Happiness comes from inside. Instead, treat her right.
- Treating a woman right is more about being there for her when she needs you, than being there for her all the time, especially in an open/casual relationship.
- Earning and keeping a woman’s respect is the key to keeping attraction going over the long run.
I wish I could talk about this more, but I actually haven’t even finished preparing my slides for the conference, so I have to put first priorities first. Here are some related articles:
- How to Start an Open Relationship – By Gil Rio
- Why you shouldn’t say “I don’t want a Relationship Right now” - This is an old post, from when I was banging off posts carelessly onto blogspot in 2007, but it stands true.
Nick Hoss has a good article about why you should go to the 2012 Love Systems Superconference, with a bit of detail about what actually is going to be going on. If you think that the Superconference is going to be a nerd-festival or full of creepy mysogynists, you’re completely wrong. The Super Conference is really the top-end product in the whole “guys learning how to date women from other guys who know how to date women” (aka PUA) scene, and it’s full of awesome people. Last year, Ice T wound up performing at my bootcamp venue, and everyone had an AMAZING time.
Some more stuff to check out:
The Love Systems Dating Advice Archive.
How to Get a Haircut - Sounds simple, right? But then how many times have you gotten a crappy haircut? The only piece of advice that I would add to this article is this: Wear your going out clothes to the hairdressers. Hairdressers evaluate you by your dress, and if you’re dressed like an accountant, you’ll get an accountant haircut.
Tynan has a great post on why you shouldn’t go to University – It’s a controversial position, but I agree with it. The value of an education in the USA is too low these days, and the price too high for anyone who has an entrepreneurial mindset. Caveat: This opinion does not apply if you’re going to an Ivy, if you have a scholarship, if you want to do something that absolutely requires a degree, or you’re talking about a country other than the USA.
Update: It seems our competition has more criticsm.
About Chris Shepherd
That’s a good article by Thorne. I’ve often noticed what she talks about within the community. I attended a free talk by top RSD instructors and I couldn’t get over how the kids in the crowd absolutely adored the tales of revenge against women and pathological sex addiction. The instructors ocassionally mentioned that acting this way was unhealthy, but for the audience, it was a numbers game at all costs: fucking the most women possible.
Contrast that with you and Derek: innate respect for women as human beings. How to have healthy relationships (even if it is only for a night!) And there was no room for that creeping misogyny in your seminars.
I’ve always said that the PUA community has a bad reputation, and in many ways, deserves it. But you two and Love Systems are actually turning guys into good men; confident, respectful men who are worthy of quality women.
-Ken C.
Thanks man, that’s really nice.
Agreed. I’ve attended your 3 hour free talk vs an RSD talk a friend brought me to, and the difference was staggering. Yours was full of great information and self help advice, while the other one was the “instructor” blowing steam up his ass (e.g. i got laid, cheated on GF only like 9 times, etc.) and selling to his class. If it weren’t for guys like you, I’d never get into pickup.
Though the RSD seminar did have quite a large group of students (it was near U of T campus), so someone did their marketing homework. Maybe you could do something similar and show the GOOD side of pickup.