Dancing well is probably one of the best things you can do to pick up women (aside from taking a Lovesystems seminar, of course!). It doesn’t take much to be a good dancer – I’m told that I’m a great dancer pretty regularly, and all I really have is a sense of rhythm, a lack of shame and two months of dating a salsa instructor. But now the BBC reports that scientists have been looking into what actually makes a good dancer, and they’re confirming stuff that I’ve been doing (and teaching) for ages.
The main observation the researchers made was that women paid attention to the “core” of the body, much more than the arms and legs. This jives with my observation that most lousy dancers focus on flailing their arms around to the rhythm, and bouncing up and down with their legs. Good dancers dance with their heads and their hips and their shoulders. Go out to a club and see how many guys are using their hips when they dance – it’ll be the guys who have girls around them.
Here are some more tips I’ve observed to help you be a good dancer, in no particular order.
1 – Make some space around yourself. - Whether you’re dancing with a partner or just “freestyling” on the dance floor, you want to make some space around yourself (with your elbows, if necessary). With a partner, this makes her feel more comfortable, and prevents douchebags from bodyslamming you. When you’re freestyling, it makes you look more alpha and gives you more room to dance well. Oh, and make sure you have at least SOME women in your group. Dancing by yourself or with other guys is really, really lame.
2 – Move with the music - The study cited by the BBC found that women were attracted to men who used a variety of different dance moves. In a club, this means you want to change up your dance pattern every few measures of the song. Use the lyrics of the song as inspiration.
3 – Exert yourself – If you’re dancing to a high energy song, you should be tired at the end of it. If you’re not, you’re not exerting enough energy. Moving just your arms and legs is easy. Add some bounce to your step, engage your hips and your shoulders and you’ll be dancing better and tiring yourself out more.
4 – Get off the dancefloor when a crappy song comes on - Some songs or styles of music aren’t your cup of tea, some just suck in general. If you can’t dance to the music, get off the dance floor. That will help prevent you from undoing all the good work you’ve been doing earlier.
5 – Engage your whole body - If you’re focusing too much on moving your arms and legs, you’re ignoring the subtlety that makes good dancers good. Your
And the MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice on how to dance well is to feel at ease and don’t let self-consciousness hold you back at all. A bad mental state will tighten up your back and shoulders and make you look stiff. Realize that most guys absolutely stink at dancing, and that by being confident and putting some energy into your dancing puts you in the top %5 of guys at a club.
Before I go, let me leave you with a video of Mick Jagger dancing. Keep in mind that Mick Jagger is dressed like an idiot, and in many ways is moving in a way that looks ridiculous. But he shakes his hips, beams confidence, and when this video was made, he was unquestionably one of the sexiest men in the world.