This advice is aimed at men, and it’s aimed at men who are looking to become more attractive to women and improve their dating skills through physical fitness. If that’s not what you’re looking for, tough luck. If you want to learn how to attract women, sign up for my FeedBurner Feed, which will give you free, quality advice on how to pick up and attract women every week.
In the past six months, I have completely changed my workout and fitness routine and achieved amazing results. I’m now back to my ideal weight of 170 lbs, and my bodyfat is down to 11%. At 28 years old, I’m in the best shape of my life. But I’ve also struggled with injuries, lack of motivation and lack of time – but I didn’t let that hold me back.
Working out is about discipline, it’s about pushing yourself. To truly get in shape, you need to change your attitudes and beliefs. This is not just about being better looking, it’s about building the confidence and discipline you need to be a good Pick up Artist and an attractive man. Here are the tips that most other websites won’t tell you – I had to learn this myself.
1 – Play a sport. If you’re a typical guy with a competitive instinct, you’ll find that sports are much more motivating than exercise for it’s own sake or bodybuilding. They get your testosterone flowing, and help build functional strength. And if you suck at first – now you have a good reason to practice more. At the gym, work out with your sport in mind – it’s motivating.
2 – Screw bodybuilding. Most of the workout advice on the internet comes from a bodybuilding perspective, ignore it. Bodybuilding doesn’t build functional strength, it’s motivated by narcissism, it’s not healthy, and it doesn’t even make women attracted to you. Ask you female friends whether they’d rather date a 220lb bodybuilder or a 180lb soccer player. Women like strength, not muscle.
3 – Work out a lot. Bodybuilders are the only “athletes” that only train three times a week. For every other sport, 5-6 workouts a week is the standard. If you’re not competing at a high level, you don’t NEED to exercise 6 days a week – but try. That way, if you miss a few workouts a week (as we all do) you’ve still worked out 4 times. Once you start feeling the changes to your body and your energy levels, you will want to exercise every day. (FYI, you don’t want to lift heavy weights more than 3x per week).
4 – Stop making excuses. I just worked out yesterday. I’ll work out tomorrow. I haven’t eaten recently. I just ate. My joint hurts. My muscles are sore. I used to have all these excuses. JUST GO. If you haven’t eaten properly, chomp down something quick on your way out, if you just ate, walk slowly to the gym. Things don’t have to be perfect.
5 – Lift weights for strength. Weight training and bodybuilding aren’t the same thing. Lifting weights can help build functional strength for sport and is good for your joints and bones. Bodybuilding is focused on cosmetics, and can lead to muscle imbalances and joint pain. Embrace weight training, forget about bodybuilding. Stronglifts 5×5 has a great program for beginners to weight training. I try to lift weights 3x a week, and play sports 3x a week. This is what I do instead of watching TV.
6 – Weight lift with form to strengthen your joints. I used to have a sore back and knees that kept me from working out properly. I would baby them and avoid working them out too hard. But that just weakened the muscles around the joints, caused muscle imbalances and made my pain worse. Now I do weightlifting with proper form, and I’m strengthening my joints safely. Machine exercises don’t build strong joints. My sore knees feel 100x better since I started doing squats regularly. Stronglifts has great advice on how to lift weights with proper form.
7 – Forget gimmicks. There are a lot of gimmicky workout routines out there. Some are total crap, some work but are for pro bodybuilders. If you’re new, you don’t need gimmicks, you need a conservative, hard, kick your ass workout to give you basic fitness and to get used to the idea of pushing yourself. Most gimmicky workout routines tell you that you can get fit without pushing yourself or working hard, but you want to work hard; that’s how you grow mentally and physically.
8 – Stop making excuses. I’m saying this twice because it needs to be said. Don’t have enough money? Don’t have enough time? Take your plasma TV or your Xbox 360 and pawn them on Craigslist. Now you have the time and the money. I’ve found that a good ½ hour workout makes me more focused and productive all day giving me more productive time. Workout regularly for a few weeks and see how much more time it creates for you.
9 – Eat healthy. No workout regime is complete without a healthy diet. Especially if your goal is to lose weight, you’re going to need to watch your diet. Lots of protein, watch your carbs, eat whole grains and veggies. There are a lot of good diet plans out there on the internet. Avoid gimmicks.
10 – Exercise your willpower. The best part of working out for me is the way it strengthens my willpower as it strengthens my body. Growth requires pain and discomfort, growth is exhausting. When you push through a tough workout or give your all in a big game, you’re training your mind to push through the troubles and the pain of everyday life. You get stronger, more confident and the slings and arrows of everyday life hurt less. It changes your life.
I’m currently following the Stronglifts workout program, which I reccomend. Crossfit is workout program that is also highly reccomended.
See my post on how to develop a more attractive posture.
36 responses so far ↓
1 Alexandra Eva // Mar 6, 2009 at 12:14 am
I think you’ve mentioned your dislike for body building like 20 times in this one short list. So let me guess… you think bodybuilding is all about Johnny Bravo kind of guys who just wanna look sexy? You’d be surprised. The only reason most of these guys look the way they do vs. what you call “functional” is because they have it down to a science. It’s not at all about looks, it’s about the feeling one gets from seeing their body change. I’m just a girl who started training with one, by the way, and I have no intentions of becoming a female body builder; but this new scientific body builder diet that was suggested to me has me burning fat and gaining strength like crazy!
2 Bobby Rio // Mar 6, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Good solid tips Chris… it really is the basic stuff that does wonders….
i think most guys fail because they go into it thinking they’ve got to train like a bodybuilder, and give up when they don’t look jacked after 2 months.
The fact is, without steroids you’ll rarely look like the jacked guys in the magazines..
and you’re right, women love the soccer player look much better anyway
Bobby Rio’s last blog post..5 Questions with Brad Howard
3 Best Weekend Reading From Around The Web // Mar 9, 2009 at 2:02 am
[...] posted a solid list of fitness tips for the average guy who wants to get and stay in [...]
4 Boston Gym // Mar 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Great beginners tips for anyone trying to get back into shape. Remember that you will increase your overall success if you commit to the process.
Good luck!
Timothy
5 Timo // Mar 12, 2009 at 2:17 am
Two words: roids.
I wouldn’t even know how to get pink and puffy wouthout them.
6 arcane // Mar 12, 2009 at 4:30 am
Retard .body builders aren’t all about getting as big as possible some aspects of it include just having nice abs and good toned muscle with decent size. so when you say something like would a woman prefer a soccer player (lanky skinny with good cardio) or a bodybuilder in the sense of most male models this day with lean muscles nice abs and is– believe me stronger then a soccer player. You have no idea what you’re talking about so before you go off and start slagging off bodybuilding… read up a little ok?
7 Alexander // Mar 12, 2009 at 5:20 am
I see bodybuilding in a big perspective. I don’t call working out with weights bodybuilding. I consider the eating healthy, doing cardio and weighttraining combination bodybuilding. Its like ex pro bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger: “for me, bodybuilding is about being the best on stage, for you it might be building a strong body for sports, or just to improve your health or self-confidence”. I take bodybuilding like the word says: building a (better)body. I hate people who think that bodybuilding is all about steroid using oversized dumb guys. I don’t like the look of pro bodybuilders, but i have allot of respect. They train very hard, eat perfect, use the perfect supplement combinations for their body, even their steroid use is made to perfection for their body. And steroids do not mean making things easy. No, it means, helping your body to recover faster so you can workout even more.
8 Adverb // Mar 12, 2009 at 5:59 pm
You’re clearly jealous of those of us who have achieved what you desire. I won’t call you names, you’re probably not smart enough to grasp my meaning anyway.
I am a bodybuilder. I train 6-7 days per week. I teach Spinning. I cycle 100+ miles per week when the weather permits. I can also out run, lift, hike, climb you.
Did I mention that I’m 41. I have no problem finding adult, educated, intelligent women. My issue is the ones who don’t have a mind and just want my body.
I also have a full-time job completely unrelated to exercise; I’m an IT director and a very good one.
I am also one of the people who gave you a thumbs down on StumbleUpon.
9 Brian // Mar 12, 2009 at 6:03 pm
It’s cool if you don’t like bodybuilding, but you clearly don’t seem to know anything about it. Maybe you should consider not preaching misinformation about things you don’t understand.
10 Kiefer // Mar 12, 2009 at 7:12 pm
First I would like to congratulate you on starting a fitness routine.
That being said you have a lot to learn, bodybuilding is a lot more than just building outrageous muscles.
Im 50 years old and 225 pounds with 7% body fat and look nothing like a pro bodybuilder and women are always chasing me LOL
You seem to think strength and muscle don’t go together, you couldn’t be more wrong.
If you work out long enough for strength, size, and endurance muscle will follow with the proper diet.
P.S. strong lifts program is great for a beginner, but boring and useless to someone who is in shape!
11 Val // Mar 14, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I agree with the above three. Aren’t YOU just making excuses? (Follow your 4th tip, buddy.) You clearly don’t know anything about an effective workout regime. Do a little more research before you decide to preach a foreign religion.
12 Chris // Apr 11, 2009 at 11:43 pm
You don’t know anything about bodybuilding. Your lack of intelligence is embarrassing. Bodybuilders workout harder than probably 90% of athletes, and definitely harder than your sorry ass.
13 ed // Apr 13, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Your comments on bodybuilding are beyond ignorant. To say that it is unhealthy is a joke. Educate yourself.
It sounds like you are jealous of those who can shape their bodies the way they want through hard work and proper nutrition
14 Tenmagnet // Apr 14, 2009 at 3:33 am
I would really like to thank all the insecure bodybuilders who replied to this post for proving my point.
Sports > Bodybuilding.
15 Andrew // Apr 17, 2009 at 12:55 am
Agree. Sports >Bodybuilding. I spent all through high school working out in the body builder “mirror muscle” mentality. I was left with postural problems, bone spurs, plantar fasciitis, protracted shoulders, anterior pelvic tilt, and after one injury in a sport that I played in, a pathetically limited range of motion.
Becoming older and wiser, I took a new approach focused more on function and practice as opposed to ascetics. Now, besides looking better than I ever came close to doing a million sets of bicep curls and bench presses for 3×8, at 5’11, white, 195, I can dunk a basketball, walk down stairs on my hands, run a 6:40 mile, deadlift 400+ bench 325 squat 400+. Above comment by Kiefer said that if you worry about actually becoming fit then your appearance and muscles will augment themselves.
To all the body builders who obviously were fuming pissed (hey, steroids are a bitch guys) by the practicality of this advice and reeling from the disbelief that someone proscribed a different approach than the gospel of Muscle & Fitness: defend your methodology with more than a blurb. Calling the author an idiot because you don’t agree with him, but offering nothing but fluff about how much you are better than him, is real evidence of an dumb ass with no argument.
PS. I am a multiply certified trainer, and work at a prominent athletic development company whose name you would recognize if you watched ESPN.
Professional insight > Amateur B.S.
16 john q // Apr 28, 2009 at 11:39 am
You come off as a pretentious wimp.
You should work on that.
17 Brad Campbell // May 12, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Pretty good tips- I don’t agree about your bodybuilding comments….it sounds as though you have a misconception that is based on a few “bad eggs”. There are a lot of natural bodybuilders I know that are only 180 lbs, don’t look like freaks of nature, and are very humble, functional, and athletic. Otherwise, nice job…
Brad Campbell’s last blog post..Feel the Burn and Lose Fat Faster With MRT
18 Surgeon // May 23, 2009 at 4:23 am
Great beginners tips for anyone trying to get back into shape. Remember that you will increase your overall success if you commit to the process.
Surgeon’s last blog post..New Testosterone Injections Work as Male Contraceptive
19 D.U.B // Jun 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I think he’s right, ‘bodybuilding’ is motivated by narcissim. I used to be obsessed how my body looked back in the day just because I had low self esteem and cared too much of what others thought of me. Now I just try and eat well (fuck the protein and all that shit) and go to the gym a couple times a week. I know what he’s saying, yes girls might like the abs and big biceps (to a certain extent, i’d say if your a 250lb juice monkey bobby bowflex your pushin it) but it’s the terrible personality that comes with it
20 Hélio // Jul 27, 2009 at 9:14 am
“it’s motivated by narcissism”, you should read more before you write…
ignorance is a bliss.
21 Six Pieces of Advice for More Attractive Posture | Tenmagnet - Lovesystems Pick Up Artist // Jul 27, 2009 at 5:50 pm
[...] If you liked this post, check: Ten Fitness Tips that will REALLY change you. [...]
22 davesworkout.com // Aug 9, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Nice article, some good basic tips here….
23 Joe // Aug 11, 2009 at 5:39 pm
“This advice is aimed at men, and it’s aimed at men who are looking to become more attractive to women and improve their dating skills through physical fitness.”
And you are calling bodybuilders narcissistic ? You are basically saying that bodybuilders don’t look good ENOUGH. You are saying that we need to look even SEXIER and worry about our looks even MORE. It feels like the people making comments missed this point and you forgot to remind them. Perhaps to avoid further embarrassment ?
24 kris // Aug 22, 2009 at 11:49 pm
What was said about bodybuilding is true. Bodybuilders defend that to their death. Shooting ‘roids (which is bullsh@t in itself) and reading something on the internet that puts down the one thing that makes you feel like you belong in the world causes massive ‘roid rage.
25 Fitness and Health // Nov 11, 2009 at 12:15 am
Good tips. So all of them can be summed up to one thing: SELF-DISCIPLINE
Fitness and Health´s last blog ..Basic Things You Need to Stay Fit and Healthy
26 Body Blitz // Nov 26, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Good advice
27 TheFitRevolution.com // Dec 17, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Good advice. But body builders don’t workout 3 days a week. It’s more like 5-6.
28 Michael Hoppal // Dec 30, 2009 at 10:36 pm
None of the women I know will throw themselves at any man just because of his body. Any woman who does isn’t worth the ground she walks on.
Regardless of whether or not your advice is solid, and ignoring your overstated dislike of bodybuilding (I’m not a bodybuilder, so I don’t care), your guide is one long road to attracting someone who will mean nothing to you in a week.
How deep of you.
Michael Hoppal´s last blog ..Life Coaches: Useful?
29 Mike - Fat Loss Tips // Dec 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Nice tips… especially #2.
Most of the advice in popular magazines is based on bodybuilding principles including the cheezy cutoff shirts and tight bicycle shorts? Hilarious…
30 Pulsotic // Jan 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Tenmagnet, you rock!
I love all the comments that just validate your point over and over again. I know you already know this, but for all the ratards (spelling on purpose) who don’t know… Narcissism’s foundation is low self esteem. The corrollary is an ego-centric psyche which is easily bruised and must defend it’s reality. Unfortunately, for most of these people, cognitive dissonance will negate any logical point you’ve made. And yes, I’m smarter than all you other people. Peace. I’m outta here!
31 Anytime Guy // Feb 7, 2010 at 11:29 pm
Great article especially liked the bodybuilding comments!- Anytime Guy
32 Emily Collins // Apr 12, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I like this information, it’s a common sense approach which is how fitness should be.
Emily Collins´s last blog ..Get Your Cardio On!
33 Patrick Hitches // May 6, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Welp… I’m questioning whether this post was published as a serious position on fitness and knocking bodybuilding, or if it was simply posted to start a hot debated, lashing out effect. Regardless of the motive behind it, my thoughts are as follows:
You started this post with the following, “This advice is aimed at men, and it’s aimed at men who are looking to become more attractive to women and improve their dating skills through physical fitness.”
Hmm, did you somehow forget your initial intention before you started down the path of slandering bodybuilding? It humors me that an uneducated audience perspective of “true fitness” views the sport as a steroid driven narcissism within the athlete. Truth be told that steroids run the gamut throughout ALL professional sports alike. Bodybuilding can be a completely amateur sport as well where everything is done with nutritional optimization. Supplements are 100% unnecessary in attaining the fitness model physique. It’s all about your rule 8 and 9 if you actually knew what that meant. While I congratulate you on generating some serious buzz on this post, I think you might want to keep in the “dating advice” ally and leave the fitness results perspective and guidance to us professionals. And if you have any doubt as to my qualifications, feel free to check my personal results with zero supplements and definitely no steroids. Our bodies are a science and “bodybuilders” are simply people who optimize this approach and capitalize on the hard work that you preach oh so vigilantly in this post.
(here’s a look at my personal results of “bodybuilding” with NONE of your off the mark perspectives of the sport: http://blog.myfoundationfitness.com/about-2/)
Cheers!
Patrick Hitches
Patrick Hitches´s last blog ..Comment on Sex on the Beach by Patrick Hitches
34 Anon // Aug 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Sounds like somebody just can’t hold his own at the gym.. you fail life, body building is everything you claim it is not, and none of what you claim it to be
35 Kelly - Fitness Overhaul // Aug 22, 2010 at 3:20 pm
I have mixed emotions about bodybuilding, although not the extreme dislike that you do. I have nothing against people wanting to become huge from lifting, I just think that a lot of gyms have the few meat heads that give the rest of the bodybuilders a bad name. I have several posts on my blog that make fun of them, but they are not directed at every bodybuilder out there. I do agree with you though that the average woman is more attracted to the lean soccer player look rather than the 275 lb muscle head.
-Kelly
Kelly – Fitness Overhaul´s last blog ..What’s The best Way to Get in Shape Quick
36 Leah @bookieboo // Sep 2, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Ahhh, I LOVE muscular guys. I don’t know what you are talking about…
Leah @bookieboo´s last blog ..Whoa Nelly! Do I see inward curvature
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