Ever run out of things to say when you’re talking to a woman?
Let me guess, it happens all the time.
From my experience as someone who’s been teaching pickup bootcamps for a long time, this is one of the most common problems that guys have. At Lovesystems, we’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to helping guys with this problem, and to be honest, I can’t give you guys a solution to this problem in a single blog post (buy the Routines Manual for our best work on this), but here’s a great exercise that helps produce REAL results. If you practice this a few times, you’ll DRASTICALY reduce the number of times you get blown out of a set because you ran out of things to say – and there are no lines or routines involved, just cultivating your own natural game.
I actually discovered this exercise about four or five years ago, when I was helping out as an approach coach for RSD*. We were in Montreal, and back then, you could smoke pretty much everywhere in that city. I smoked at the time (I still kinda do), and the combination of first-hand smoke, second-hand smoke, and trying to game girls and give students advice over pumping loud dance music absolutely destroyed my voice.
By Saturday night, my voice was terrible, it literally sounded like the sound of blood gurgling out of an open wound, and women would recoil in horror when I spoke. I actually blew a student completely out of set just by saying “Hi! I’m Chris” with my creepy horror-movie serial killer voice. It was brutal.
But I wasn’t going to give up. I said to myself “fuck my serial killer voice, I’m going to game without talking”… so I actually started opening sets, and winging students without saying a word. I was shocked to find that my game really didn’t suffer that much at all by not talking.
I’m not going to say it was easy, that’s not the point of this exercise, but if your game is down, it’s probably easier than you think. If you’re the kind of guy who talks too much, and tries too hard, this will teach you the important skill of SHUTTING UP, which is something that most guys in the community don’t know well enough.
Now, when I was doing this, I literally couldn’t say a single word, because the mere sound of my bloody vocal folds flapping together scared the crap out of women, but when you’re doing this, you don’t need to be totally silent.
So here’s how the silence exercise works.
First thing you need to do is open well, and get past the “hook point”, where you’re starting to get some indicators of interest from the women. They need to be into you – just a *little bit* before this exercise will really work. This game works really well when you’re going in as a wingman.
Once they’re into you, lean back, get comfortable, and try to say as *little as possible*. Try and use everything *except* words to create interest and attraction. Anything more than a three-word sentence should be considered a failure. If you can stick to saying three words every minute or two, you’re doing pretty well. Pick your words well though, you can’t just say anything, you have to pick words with impact. And body language and delivery are crucial – you can’t play this game if you’re not coming off really chill.
One thing you’ll find if you do this game properly is that you can actually have a pretty long conversation with a woman without saying very much at all. If you just lean back, act mysterious and play along, you’ll often find that SHE starts blabbing away like crazy. Honestly, this game is really fun, if only to see how women react to the dumb, three-word sentences you produce. It’s amazing how long you can keep a conversation going with only three word responses.
Anyway, if you’re capable of opening and getting IOI’s, you should try this excercise, it’s not solid game – that’s not the point. But it forces you to practice something that a lot of guys are really weak at, it forces you to cultivate and harness the power of silence. And it’s pretty fun too.
Also, try this game in Hard Mode: You need to open with 3 words or less.
Or Nightmare Mode: You have to smoke cigarettes and yell until your voice sounds like throat cancer.
*I helped Real Social Dynamics on a couple bootcamps back before the Game, and before I started working for The Mystery Method Corp/Lovesystems.