Someone asked me recently whether women like “gentlemen”. My answer is basically, yes and no.
The fact is, being a bit of a gentleman is often a very good thing, but a lot of guys take it too far and act like tools. Gentlemanly behavior often looks a lot like ass-kissing, which is a huge turnoff, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
I do gentlemanly things, but I absolutely DENY being a gentleman. Girls love it.
What most guys do wrong is they heard from their mothers that women like it when guys open doors for them, so they go running around making sure they open every door, and then act as if they want a cookie afterwards.
So yeah, I open doors, I pay for dinner.
But, I do un-gentlemanly things too, often at the same time. So we’re standing outside and it’s cold and I give her my jacket:
10Mag: Hey, put this on, that cold face you’re making is bothering me.
Girl: Aww, you’re such a gentleman.
10Mag: Hahah, I am definately *not* a gentleman (wink).
Also, I only do chivalrous things when it’s either a) effortless, or b) important. So I’ll open car doors when I don’t have to run around the car like I’m her butler or something, or if she’s holding something that makes it awkward for her to open the door herself, but I’m not going to go out of my way much.
Also, I don’t walk on the outside of the street, because that’s some dumb rule left over from when cities had open sewers at the side of the road, but I DO walk between my girl and anyone creepy or scary.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Anonymous // Sep 20, 2007 at 11:32 am
The rule of walking on the outside of the curb was “created” if you will, not only for the open sewers, but if a carriage/horse lost control, the “gentleman” would get hit first and try to push the “ladie” out of the way.
But, that goes agains survival of the fittest, doesn’t it?!
2 Anonymous // Sep 25, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Walk where you want. If you’re between her and the doorways that open onto the sidewalk, you can protect her from the hobos that lurk in those doorways. If you’re between her and the street, it’s for out-of-control horses.
Silver
3 Anonymous // Mar 3, 2008 at 3:08 pm
If you’re walking down the street with a woman and she’s on the street side, it is viewed by many as if you’re “selling” her. Maybe you can use that as a neg? Haha
4 Playboy // Aug 14, 2008 at 2:28 pm
10mag – great article. I like the denying mixed with the behavior. I stumbled across this somehow thru your discussions on Janka. Curious isn’t it. Glad you’re speaking about it man. Also, were you along on those old RSD programs in Montreal?
PB
5 Tenmagnet // Aug 14, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Yeah, I helped out at two Montreal programs with RSD, back in 2003 or 2004.
I remember meeting you there, though I don’t know if we ever went out together.
Ahh, the old days
6 DLV to Open Doors and act Gentlemanly? - Page 2 - The Attraction Forums // Sep 3, 2008 at 4:41 pm
[...] hold the door open for her, you’ll look like a tool. I have a post on this on my blog. Being a Gentleman __________________ View Full Profile: Click Here Tenmagnet [...]
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