Thoughtmagnet

This is a Q and A from the Mystery Method Forums. I thought it presented some good insights.

Q: Ok I met this girl at a nightclub, I applied solid game, the girl is interested, we have been going out on 3 dates now, the last date we were on to the movies and well, there was not much interaction and thus now I think I might be looking to friendly.

Also the girl is kinda like old school, I noticed how she waited inside the car in order for me to open the door, most girls only wait for you to open the door to get in not to get out.

On my second date we went to a night club and I tried my sexy dance and sexual tension in order to kiss her, but didnt work she moved her lips away (not really an expression of disinterest but rather a way to say “I want something formal”) as this always works with easy girls. And after that she kept interested.

So I was planning to take her to a restaurant for dinner, pick her up with a flower, and tell her stuff like “I think we make a nice couple, I like you, I would like to have a formal relationship with you, what do you say?, wanna be my girlfriend?.

Is this a good idea?, is this the right way to ask her?

Ok, there is a bunch of things wrong with what this guy is doing, but most of them are obvious to anyone who has read the VAH. I’m going to focus on one of the less obvious things he’s doing wrong.

Imagine sitting down with a girl on the third date, and she says to you “You know what, these past three dates have been really nice. I think I’d like to sleep with you now”.

Wouldn’t that sounds a bit weird? Wouldn’t that be awkward?

That’s what it sounds like if you sit down with her and tell her you want her to be your GF. It probably *IS* what she wants, but it’s not the way she wants it.

It’s *HER* job to try and loop you into a relationship, and all you can do is let her. If you try to take the initiative on this you’ll probably look needy, and more importantly you’ll ruin the fun.

Instead – Make vague plans to do something three months from now. That will communicate that you see the relationship as long-termish. If she bugs you to be her BF, to meet your friends and so forth, agree reluctantly (assuming you want this).

Otherwise, just be a MAN and do what comes naturally to you – make a move. The idea that Mexican girls (or any other kind of girls) need to be in a relationship to hook up is silly. They don’t, trust me.