Alright,
Identity is something I’ve been teaching my students for quite a while, and my students consistently say that it’s one of their favorite parts of the program. I’m going to give away a little bit of what I teach, because I think it’s important enough to share with you guys.
… I can’t believe I’m doing this.
First off, let me explain what Identity is (in a nutshell). Essentially, if your life were a book, your identity would be the cover. It’s the pretty picture on the front, the title, and the little blub on the back that sums up the story and makes you want to read further. And even though we’ve always been told to “not judge a book by it’s cover”, we all know that we all make judgments like that all the time, it’s just human nature.
Hell, I bought the hardcover version of The Game over the paperback explicitly FOR the sweet cover. And I already knew what was inside!
Anyway, to get back on topic, people judge books by their cover, and pigeon-hole people into stereotypes. Establishing an identity means figuring out which stereotypes we want to play into, and which ones we want to avoid. A solid identity can drastically change your game, and help bring all the loose ends together in your game. It means the difference between women thinking you’re odd and thinking you’re the coolest guy she’s met in weeks – it’s all about the cover.
On my programs, we spend a big part of the third day on identity, and finding out an identity for my students that will mesh with their lifestyle, and “bring it all together”. For example, when I give fashion advice, I don’t just tell guys to dress like me, I cater my advice to each person’s individual identity.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Anonymous // Mar 19, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Oh you tease…
2 Tenmagnet // Mar 19, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Lol… I hope you got my little Neil Strauss reference there
3 Omega // Mar 20, 2007 at 9:17 am
Thanks for sharing your insights on a much neglected topic. This is the basis of many innergame issues. As one of our posters discussed in the Seattle lair. We have to present this identity in the way we dress and how we carry ourselves. Much of attraction is skin deep, we can only spit game if we fit into an ‘attractive’ stereotype.
4 ware_ru // Mar 20, 2007 at 12:21 pm
“i can’t believe i’m doing this…”
i never understood why he always said that. maybe it’s because i already had community knowledge, but i didn’t get any sort of “oh man he’s sharing secrets! he really cares about me!” vibe from it. why does he do it?
5 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Tenmag,
Im glad to see you cover this stuff in your BCs’. Puzzler said you were good with storywork and identity.
Without getting into a full blown KJ rant, there is a world of difference between using canned stuff and re building yourself up from the ground to be naturallly attractive (and happier).
The game that you and the other instructors seem to run (by the looks of your blogs) mirrors what a good natural would do without thining.
Strong identity, fashion that fits rather than peacocking, and material that is congruant are all the keys to the castle.
Cant wait for the rest of this. Ill see you in Miami.
T700w
6 Lair List // Jan 27, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Good post, I see lifestyle being neglected way too often, and developing a powerful identity is key to creating a powerful lifestyle.
Lair List´s last blog ..Having a Big Brother Program
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